Senior Bullying: Guest Post by Robin Bonifas, PhD, MSW, and Marsha Frankel, LICSW
Today’s blog post is the first in a biweekly series on senior bullying, bringing research into practice.
What is Bullying?
By Robin Bonifas, PhD, MSW, Assistant Professor, School of Social Work, Arizona State University, Phoenix, AZ and Marsha Frankel, LICSW, Clinical Director of Senior Services, Jewish Family & Children’s Services, Boston, MA
Bullying, defined as intentional repetitive aggressive behavior involving an imbalance of power or strength (Hazelden Foundation, 2008), has been recognized for many years as a problem among children and youth in school systems. Recently “senior bullying” has also been noted to occur among older adults in many senior housing and senior care organizations, such as adult day health programs and assisted living facilities. What does bullying look like among the older generation? Surprisingly, in many ways it looks similar to bullying among younger age groups! For example, it includes verbal, physical or antisocial behaviors that occur in the context of social relationships, and, like youths, victims of senior bullying experience considerable emotional distress. Here are some specifics:
Verbal bullying involves name calling, teasing, hurling insults, taunting, threatening, or making sarcastic remarks or pointed jokes. For example, Mary was overheard at a Senior Center luncheon saying to Grace, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Everyone knows you’re crazy!” Physical bullying involves pushing, hitting, destroying property, or stealing. For instance, two residents in independent senior housing got into an argument over control of the remote control in the community room. One punched the other in the face. This was not the first time these two men exchanged words, but the first time it escalated to a physical assault. Antisocial bullying includes shunning, excluding or ignoring, gossiping, spreading rumors, and using negative non-verbal body language. Such non-verbal bullying includes mimicking someone’s walk or disability, making offensive gestures or facial expressions, turning one’s head or body away when the victim speaks, using threatening body language, or encroaching on personal space. For example, John was relocated to senior housing in Massachusetts following the loss of his home in the New Orleans hurricane. Several residents began spreading rumors that he was a longtime homeless man and was the first in a deluge of formerly homeless people who were going to be “dumped” into their building. As a result, other residents began to avoid John.
Contrary to the childhood adage “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me,” individuals who are bullied are significantly impacted by their peers’ negative behavior. Common responses include (Frankel, 2011):
- Reduced self-esteem
- Overall feelings of rejection
- Depression
- Suicidal ideation
- Increased physical complaints
- Functional changes, such as decreased ability to manage activities of daily living
- Changes in eating and sleeping
- Increased talk of moving out
The situation and type of behavior often determines whether or not problematic behavior is actually bullying. An individual who yells and strikes out at everyone is not necessarily a bully; similarly, behavior may be inappropriate and violate community rules, but not truly be bullying because the dynamics of power and control are absent. It is important to keep in mind that some people exhibit verbal or physical aggression when they are frustrated or upset as a way of communicating their feelings rather than to usurp others’ power. The potential for this situation increases in the context of dementia, due to impulse control problems, communication difficulties, frustration regarding impaired task performance, and misperceptions of potential environmental threats.
At the same time, although some problematic behaviors may not meet the academic definition of bullying, such behaviors can still feel to those on the receiving end as if they were being bullied. For example, residents in assisted living report the following peer behaviors to cause the most emotional distress (Bonifas, 2011):
- Loud arguments in communal areas
- Name calling
- Being bossed around
- Negotiating value differences, especially related to diversity of beliefs stemming from culture, spirituality, or socioeconomic status
- Sharing scarce resources, especially seating, television programming in communal areas, and staff attention
- Being hounded for money or cigarettes
- Listening to others complain
- Experiencing physical aggression
- Witnessing psychiatric symptoms, especially those that are frightening or disruptive
While only behaviors 2, 3, 6, and 8 really qualify as bullying, residents react or respond to such behaviors in the following comparable ways:
- Anger
- Annoyance
- Frustration
- Fear
- Anxiety/tension/worry
- Retaliation followed by shame
- Self isolation
- Exacerbation of mental health conditions
The similar reactions to both bullying and “bullying-like” behaviors implies that to understand bullying among older adults, it is necessary to develop knowledge about the individuals who exhibit bullying behaviors and individuals who are bullied. Our next blog will address this critical issue.
Robin Bonifas, PhD, MSW
Marsha Frankel, LICSW
The Senior Bullying Series:
Part One: What is Bullying?
Part Two: Who Bullies and Who Gets Bullied?
Part Three: What is the Impact of Bullying?
Part Four: Potential Organizational-Level Interventions to Reduce Bullying
Part Five: Intervention Strategies for Bullies
Part Six: Strategies for Targets of Bullying
Reducing Senior Bullying: Conversation with Bullying Expert Robin Bonifas, PhD, MSW
This 50-minute audio addresses how organizations can implement programs to reduce senior bullying, discussing in detail issues touched upon in Dr. Bonifas’ blog series on Senior Bullying. Listeners will learn:
How to discover the extent of senior bullying in your facility
Who should be involved in a task force to reduce senior bullying
How to distinguish between bullying and the problematic behavior of residents with dementia
Ways to create a positive environment that encourages caring behavior and thus reduces bullying
Instant Download: Only $10.99
Eleanor Feldman Barbera, PhD, author of 
19 comments
I’m happy to say I have not experienced this in my nursing center. Maybe this is more prevalent in an Assisted Living type facility where folks have fewer health problems.
I’ve seen it, Tracy, in the nursing home. The most common behaviors I’ve witnessed are loud, negative comments by more cognitively intact residents about their less able peers. I’ve also seen arguments around seating at tables, with more able residents preferring not to sit with those who have difficulty eating. Many times I’ve heard the comment, “She’s in my spot!”, accompanied by a raised voice, angry tone, and sometimes threatening behavior. The staff intervention in that case is generally to move the person in “her spot,” which seems perfectly reasonable, but also reinforces territoriality that’s often accompanied by bullying behaviors.
Tracy,
Perhaps you are not recognizing it, I have never worked in a facility where it doesn’t happen.
I haven’t seen much of this either from residents. I do see if from their families though. I don’t consider complaints about seating issues, “bullying” though. When I worked at an assisted living center, yes indeed there was bully behavior from residents and their families- the more well to do, the worse the bullying was. I recall a resident’s daughter telling another resident, “Do you know who I am??” and the poor woman said “No”– “I’m the Mayor’s sister. YOU don’t sit at my mothers’ table” and she snubbed off to the front offices to complain. Also the staff endure lots of this behavior as well, from residents (customers) and the families (Customers??)
It’s all part of the job. We have to have thick skins and be willing to advocate for those who can’t, or won’t, or don’t know they should, speak for themselves. Its a risky undertaking to stand up though…when families complain, staff get fired. There’s a consequence for advocating for the weak and meek.
That’s an interesting perspective, Patti. I’ve seen more residents than families behave badly toward staff members, whether or not it’s considered bullying behavior. This is often, but not always, related to dementia or mental illness. Staff members do have to handle a great deal, and training can help them negotiate sticky interpersonal situations.
I have now lived in a ‘senior housing community’ (55 years and older) which is operated by the National Churches Residences. The socioeconomic dynamics range from without a financial resource to those earning a modest income from Social Security or low paying employment. I, as the only male in a residency that’s predominately elderly (65+) Caucasian & female. I have observed the taunting, gossip and bullying that other residents, being 4-5 in a building occupying 50 residents, practice on a daily basis. Unfortunately, NCR management fails to address such behaviors and would rather “have the residents work it out among themselves.” I have found that many residents don’t respect boundaries, but they probably never have.
Retired, the gossiping and bullying must be very challenging to be around on a regular basis. Perhaps some of the strategies we’ll be discussing in an upcoming post will be helpful in addressing the issue. Maybe the management would be willing to have an outside speaker come in to discuss ways of reducing bullying behavior, providing strategies for management and for residents themselves. Alternatively, if you have a social worker and/or an entertainment director, maybe they’d be open to having a speaker come in for a talk just for residents.
I’ve been experiencing this, as a 52 year old physically disabled woman, in public housing for the elderly and disabled, for months now. I’m dealing with an alliance of a clique of elderly lady bullies, and a younger man they’ve befriended. He moved in a few weeks before me, and started targeting me a month after I moved in, when I he attempted to get me to give him money. It started as mild verbal taunts, mockery to character assassination, to his screaming at me hysterically in the community laundry room. Since then he’s taken to entering my building on an almost daily basis, to intimidate and frighten me, as I try to avoid him in the common areas, and have restricted my use of the the laundry room to early morning hours. The PHA not only refuse to address this, they make excuses for him. I’ve since learned he has an extensive criminal arrest record, including several convictions for felony domestic assault. Neither HUD, nor the various agencies will help.
Things aren’t always so cut and dried, including not how some become victims, while others do not. We’re not all confused, suffering from Alzheimers or dementia.. It’s become apparent to me that bullies in these instances, like those in other age groups, will target new people, who haven’t established many friendships as yet. Single women, because even today, are easily stigmatized, even by women who work in housing, nursing home, and assisted living management. I’ve found despite the fact that this man has a lengthy criminal including a habit of violent assault, his behavior is brushed off. There is no oversight, and despite petty guarantees like zero tolerance policies in leases, and inspections, laws are toothless when there is no oversight and enforcement.
Mary, it sounds like you might need to contact the police about this matter, and to document the instances of harassment.
As boomers continue to retire and spend time at communal activity and living centers, this problem will inevitably increase. Unfortunately, there are no mandated reporting mechanisms for bullying among this population nor official policies to address the issue.
In conversation with Dr. Bonifas, she pointed out how the school system has evolved from a “kids will be kids” philosophy to active bullying prevention programs. It’s likely we’ll see the same thing in LTC. Another reader pointed out that senior bullying is “resident-to-resident abuse,” which we do have some policies around in the nursing home, though clearly more can be to enhance prevention efforts. Here’s an interesting article on the resident-to-resident abuse in the nursing home: Resident-to-Resident Aggression in LTC Facilities
Thank you for for forwarding that link. As this research suggests, there are many contributing factors and behaviors that can lead up to such aggression. I question the training (or lack thereof) in the field of Geriatrics for those of us who serve that population. Perhaps with more resources, training and interventions staff will be able to have more effective solutions.
Tracy, I”m 100% certain that with more training we can do better, especially in facilities that haven’t adopted the Culture Change model. When I worked in inpatient psychiatric settings, which is a surprisingly similar environment, we focused on the therapeutic milieu — the feeling of the environment. We were aware that we needed to set a tone which calmed our patients, and if they became agitated and quarreled with each other, part of our process was to review what was happening in the environment to contribute to the problem and then adjust it. In the nursing home, the therapeutic milieu is often neglected, leading to agitated residents who disturb their neighbors, making it more likely bullying or resident to resident aggression will occur. For example, it doesn’t surprise me when residents living on a floor where one of their neighbors is left to scream in distress for long periods of time on a regular basis without staff intervention, start yelling at her to shut up. I address issues around improving the therapeutic milieu in my free download, “Stop Agitating the Residents! 17 Secrets From Psych That Will Transform Care on EVERY Shift,” available on the home page.
[...] Part One: What is Bullying? [...]
[...] will recall from our initial blog that bullying is defined as intentional repetitive aggressive behavior involving an imbalance of [...]
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A loved one has Parkinson’s and lives in assisted living. Several of the ladies make comments to him such as “you have your pants on backwards” when he doesn’t. His posture is compromised and his hands are crippled so he can’t wear a belt or use zippers, buttons or suspenders. His build is such that his elastic waisted pants slide down and his crack is revealed. He feels like he is back in grade school with them. Today one of them approached me and said she was representing a plea from the residents that he should buy new pants. How would you handle this situation?
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